Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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