i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
