Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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