I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
