i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
