u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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