Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
50% drunk capacity currently
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
