Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
