I'm so fucking centered right now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
