And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
