u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
