Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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