So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
