i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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