my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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