I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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