When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Apparently you make a good broom.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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