you will always have a special place in my vag
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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