Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
