..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
