he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
