he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
