I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
