The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
