So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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