he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
