She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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