We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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