I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
