Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
