I didn't shave. On purpose
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
