Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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