That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
