Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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