You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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