Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
