I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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