took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
His hands were made for my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize