it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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