Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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