Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize