she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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