He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
