so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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