I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize