they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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