im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
