why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
