I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
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All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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