That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
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Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My penis needs a shock collar
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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