Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
