We won't sleep together?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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