Umm I'm too high to move.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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