My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
