It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize