brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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