I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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