Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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